Not Sleeping

Beckett is going through his 4 month sleep regression. Some people call it the wonder weeks or leap weeks. Whatever it’s called it just sucks. I am TIRED, SO TIRED. 

I came upstairs with him at 7:30 last night. I nursed him to sleep and went back down so I could tuck Lucy in. I miss tucking her in. It’s been Jon’s job lately since Beckett is pretty demanding at night. After I tucked her in, said good night to Chloe and Megan I quietly crawled back into bed. Beckett was fast asleep in his bassinet. Until my eyes finally closed. It’s like an automatic button. Mine close, his open. So I scooped him up and tried putting him back to sleep. Every time I would put him down his eyes would open and he would cry. This went on until 2:45am. By that point I just needed some sleep so I stumbled to his room and placed him in his crib. I made my way back to bed and looked over at the monitor and saw him staring at me  

Like “are you kidding me?” “Do you think this is going to work?” “I’m just going to sit here and stare at you until you come get me” “you’re so foolish, mama” ” I know it’s working, you’re feeling guilty” Then he pooped and I knew I couldn’t leave him in a messy diaper so I walked back in his room and as soon as he saw me he gave me the biggest smile. I felt like he was mocking me. So I didn’t make eye contact. I mistakenly made eye contact during the diaper change and he gave me another big smile. Oh man! This kid knew exactly what he was doing. Little stinker. So I scooped him back up, kissed his little face, nursed him and rocked him back to sleep. As soon as he was in a deep slumber I ever so gently placed him back in his crib and his eyes popped open and again he gave me the biggest smile. So once again I scooped him up, took him back to my bed and decided that co-sleeping would be our thing.